Hey there, lovelies. This post was inspired by a Facebook conversation . . . . I felt the need to elaborate . . . .
A Facebook friend of mine posted this quote from T.D. Jakes to his Facebook wall:
The lifting up of the woman does not require the tearing down of the man. In fact, a strong woman appreciates a strong man. Conversely, a strong man is not intimidated by a strong woman.
And, that is quite true. But, my response to that message was this, “If I can only be strong when you are weak, I am sapping your strength. That doesn’t make me strong, it makes me a leech . . . .” (Well, technically, it makes me a parasite. I could be another type of parasite other than a leech . . . . but, I digress.) Another quite potent truth that should give us all a moment of pause. I want to stop and ask the simple question, “Do you you have any leeches on you?”
People who are healthy, confident and well adjusted don’t need to look down on, and tear down other people in order to feel good about themselves. There is no need because they understand that as good as you are, you can only be you. And, there is no replacing a good woman (or man’s) talent, intellect and ability in the universe. God placed them here for such a time as this. So, there is no need to compete or compare with the next person. They just seek to improve their skills, their talents and expand on their abilities. Their motto is simply, “Do you, boo.” It’s not a gender issue, it’s a health issue. Healthy people do healthy things and encourage you to do them, too.
People who are insecure, incomplete, unhealthy and lacking in some area constantly tear down others because they do not feel empowered to do the work necessary to improve themselves. They fail to see the beauty in themselves, so they’re going to criticize your appearance. They don’t feel lovable so they’re going to sabotage your relationship. They always offended, and are looking for allies to affirm their point of view. They use you as an emotional toilet; they dump all their crap on you and then get up and leave, without even asking how you are. I could go on, but you get the picture . . . .
When you stop to think about it, it’s kinda hard to be around them for too long because they’re never happy for anyone, they’re always negative about the next person and, to make it worse, they’re not excited about themselves. That’s because that negative mindset and energy is sucking the life out of you. They’re leeching your strength, your optimism, your good mood, your mental and emotional health, your vigor, your friendships and even your material wealth, in some cases. Your spirit is just crying out, “Get me outta here, already!!”
And, here’s the rub, you don’t hear someone talk about someone else for any length of time and walk away thinking good things about them. As a matter of fact, the last time I heard someone really rake another person over the coals, I thought to myself, “Yeah, what he did was jacked up. But, you’re just as triflin’. Matter of fact, everybody in that whole scenario is effed up.” Just remember, the longer you sit there, the longer you are giving someone in the opportunity to look at you like that.
No matter who you are, no matter how little or how much you have, no matter your level of intellect, talent or ability. You can do better than that. Get those leeches offa you!
